Most business leaders battle moments of intense self-doubt – times when we think our ideas and pursuits don’t measure up to what we perceive around us. Times when we allow external circumstances to impact our behavior and impact our abilities as managers.
We hear the expression “fake it till you make it,” as a way to overcome a lack of self-confidence. But according to Jessica Stillman, in her blog for Inc., while this little mantra might help in the short term, it doesn’t have much staying power. The right approach is not to appear confident. Instead, it’s to genuinely feel confident.
“You are what you think about – a reflection of your thoughts,” writes Manfred Gollent, founder of the
executive coaching firm QLI International, based in Greenville. Gollent tells us that critical key in becoming a more effective manager is understanding your natural ego states and learning to “exercise control over your behavior.”
“Once you understand ego states,” he writes, “you can begin developing those ego states and thinking in relationship to the person you want to become.”
As a steppingstone toward ultimate success, Gollent suggests developing a series of affirmations. An affirmation is simply a form of conscious reinforcement. “It’s telling yourself in times of doubt that which you have known to be true at other times.” Just as important, an affirmation describes the “You” that you want to become. They should be personal and tied to your goals as a leader and influencer of others.
Gollent suggests writing these affirmations on 3×5 cards and placing them in locations where you’ll see them frequently.
“You are in control of yourself,” he reminds us. “No one can make you feel bad unless you choose to feel bad. You are only insecure when you choose to be insecure. You are competent, calm, aggressive, effective or happy when you choose to be.”
Interested in exploring your potential as a leader? If you’re in the Greenville or Greenwood area, consider contacting Manfred Gollent via the QLI International website to arrange an initial complimentary coaching session.